happy 22 months<3
it’s gon be 100 degrees today?!
sigh i don’t understand. i dont know what i’m feeling. i can’t explain it and i cant describe it. if anyone asks me “whats wrong” i wouldn’t be able to tell them because its not something i could explain. whatever it is, it’s killing me and making me depressed. how can i be so depressed on such a sunny day? my depression usually comes on cloudy gloomy or rainy days..buh today was such a perfect day..wtf is going on wit me..why is it that i can just start crying and breaking down out of nowhere. these tears that are uncontrollable and once they start, they take over me. i get sucked into another world, a world where pain and sorrow rule and torture the innocence. sighh i need to get away.. i need to get away and start over. ive said this so many times and i honestly think that its the only way for me to get better. this place is killing me…..
its sad how someone says they care and says they want to help, buh its just too obvious that they’re lying. they only feel like its their “position and responsibility” to care, buh honestly, they don’t give a fuck at all. how can i tell? because they haven’t shown any care or any attempt to help. it’s just words running out, but they can’t back it up wit actions.
loneliness is one of my greatest fears, yet i have to face it every second of my life. i don’t ever think i can ever heal.
you take advantage of my weakness and my instability. you know how i am and so you use it against me. because i’m weak and vulnerable, you feel like it’s okay to watch me suffer in my own misery and my own problems. i really find it funny when someone can say they care, but they really do nothing at all to show it. please, continue. it’s okay to watch me suffer and you can just point and laugh. sorry but the next time you find yourself in the same situation, don’t come crying to me. because i’ll just be sitting from the sidelines, pointing and laughing, too. don’t expect me to care about your feelings at all. ask me why im doing it, i’ll just tell you “it’s because i don’t fucking care.”